Tuesday, August 19, 2008

a really bad day

It's far too late for me to be up, yet here I sit. Mainly because I need to purge the nastiness of my day.

A dear (and very smart) friend told me today that "being happy is about finding peace in your every day, no matter what that every day is."

So true.

I think I may print that out and tape it up behind my desk at work ... along with my satellite picture of the Christmas Eve snow we received in Houston a few years back, and Ty and Aidan strolling together at the Astros game (right after Aidan learned to walk). Those are my "happy place" things.

Today SUCKED. No two ways about it. Some of it was petty and insignificant. Some of it a little bit heavier. But regardless, I felt like the world was out to get me. Which is a pretty pathetic outlook, and one I don't usually have.

To make it short and sour (it wasn't sweet):
  • The school district I know and love -- the one I grew up in (K-12), did my student teaching with, and have spent the past 12 years teaching in is really starting to piss me off. I don't know if it's public education as a whole, or what. But I'm so f'ing sick of the standardization of everything. Whether it be state tests, lesson plans, gradebooks, teachers, or whatever. It just goes against everything I stand for. Part of the greatness of education is experiencing differences in personalities and the way things are done from year to year, depending on which teacher you have. We're slowly but surely losing that ... purposefully and deliberately weeding the individualism out of our teachers. And it's a crime.
  • In the only spare 20 or so minutes I had available, I went to pick up my contact lenses today (had the Dr.'s appt. last week). I rushed over to Eye Masters to grab them, only to be told by a bitchy emo girl with attitude that I had to see the doctor again to get them "fitted." HUH? Isn't that what you originally measured my eyes for last week at my appointment? So even though I'd already paid for my contacts, they wouldn't give them to me. On top of that, they had no appointment times today or tomorrow (just for me to stick the freakin' contacts in my eyes and the doctor to confirm that they're "ok" ??), so I now have to wait 'til Thursday to go back. It was horrible, and it got ugly. I asked to see this policy in writing, and they couldn't show it to me. I asked for a refund, and they wouldn't give it to me. If I had more time and energy, I'd make it my mission to bring them some major trouble. And the emo bitch didn't help. I could go on and on ... but I'm getting sick just thinking about it. And an entire waiting room full of eye patients got to witness this altercation. Ugh. I'm going to go pop a few TUMS.
  • I had to go to the Hallmark store to grab a Baptism card for my nephew (the occasion is this Saturday). I'd just picked up Aidan, so he was with me. Like all Hallmark stores, this particular establishment had racks upon racks of Ty Beanie Baby-type animals. Aidan found a Blue (a la Blue's Clues), and began to make small, 2-year-old barking noises. The woman at the cash register looked at him and said, "Oh, please don't touch that, honey," (in a really abrasive tone). So I took the toy from Aidan. She then looked at me and said, "You really need to control your child." No joke. Yep. That's what she said. I walked out without my card. It was horrible. I was pissed off, humiliated, and exhausted.
Now for my pity party ... it's really hard being a "single" mom (which I currently am since hubby is deployed for the next 20 months). And it's equally hard being a single mom with a full-time job. Plus, I just miss Ty. Very, very much. I fear that my emotions are starting to get the best of me, and that's unacceptable.

Thank goodness for cold glasses of gin and tonic ... and good friends with equally good listening ears and strong shoulders.

Tomorrow WILL be a better day.

1 comment:

Amber said...

So, here's what I wish:

* I wish I could give you a big ol' hug
* I wish you and I could sit on the patio at Cafe Adobe with a margarita or two. Or three.

I'm so sorry. I know the suckiness of "single" motherhood. I don't have to deal with a full time job on top of it, though. You are an amazing woman. Bad days are okay.