Murphy's Law

So, the first and only time in three years that I've ever been late to work was this morning. It was a series of unfortunate events.

My little guy had an "accident" in his bed (potty training can be a bitch) and needed an unexpected -- from head-to-toe -- scrubbing in the tub. Of course this was a completely novel (and exciting) event for a toddler who's used to nothing but business in the morning. He was totally thrilled to engage in one of his favorite activities first thing in the morning. But he absolutely refused to get out of the bathtub. As a result, I had to battle and pry a kicking and screaming wet two-year-old from the water. The mother-of-all tantrums ensued for a good 15 minutes afterwards. Forget breakfast. We'd have to drive through Micky-Ds.

So at 6:45 a.m., the time I'm usually pulling in to the parking lot at work, I was still in my p.j.s, frantically throwing on make-up and brushing my hair. At 6:55 a.m., my darling little [clean] son and I were driving into the McDonald's parking lot. I kid you not, we were the SIXTH car in line! I sat there for ten seconds or so and decided that it would be quicker to go inside. So as I'm reversing, a big truck pulled in behind me, sealing my fate in the drive-through line. I'd have to wait it out.

At 7:00 I dashed ARF into his school, gave him a quick kiss and heard, "Bye bye, Mommy!" as I was rushing out the door. Ugh. So, so sweet. At this point, I figured that a few extra minutes wouldn't kill me, and I really needed a jolt of caffeine. I pulled into the Starbucks less than a mile from my work and had to wait for over 10 mintues to even place my order. I was late already, so a few extra minutes at this point were meaningless.

Of course, there was only one barista working. She kept yelling for help from "the back," but nobody materialized to assist the frazzled lady. And the woman in front of me in line was ordering two of those big ol' caraffes to-go for the office or something. So she had to get cups, creamer, sugar, etc. to go with her order. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

Did I mention that I have to be in my classroom by 7:15 a.m.? No problem! I'm usually there by 7:00, at the latest! Oh, and the first bell rings at 7:25 -- semantics. I'm always there. But on this special morning to beat all mornings, I'm still standing in line looking at my watch at 7:23 or so. GREAT.

I finally order my java, race to the car, and find that some big honkin' Mack-Daddy pick-up truck is parked as close to my car as humanly possible, without hitting me. I couldn't even open my door. I had to run around to the passenger side, jump in, and shimmy over to the driver's seat, full, hot coffee in hand. Holy crap. I think I laughed at this point.

I pull into the parking lot at work. No parking places available. Of course. I illegally park and race to the gate and find who standing there to greet me? Our oh-so-punctual (and eagle-eyed) administrative assistant/eager-beaver secretary, perched on-watch with a clip board. She nods at me, I nod at her (late, with coffee in my hand ... that was an especially nice touch), and I proceed to calmly walk to my classroom.

Damn that potty training.